ohai all!  We’re back with the second installment of our Holiday Shopping Guide!  You can check out the Santa suits we went through yesterday, but if fat and jolly isn’t your thing, we’ve got svelte and servile with our elf costumes!

All I want for Christmas is vengeance

Santa has gone far too long angering the wrong people: low wages, egg nog rationing, no syrup for our spaghetti, and now someone wants him dead.  My small, plastic, red-nosed informant has tipped me off that he’s holed himself up at Mick and Ralia’s place.  A quick change into a professional Black Elf Suit, and I’m in!

A quick survey of the place and it turns out my tiny informant is right!  Santa’s here, but he’s got a legion of three-headed reindeer as back up.  He planned for every contingency except one: me. Changing into my Red Elf Suit, I prepare to steal Ralia’s identity, but she seems to have other ideas…

Two amazing minutes and I’m back into a Green Elf Suit to slip past Santa’s three-headed, firebreathing helldeer.  I’m not sure what Vixen and Cupid are up to, but my new threads get me by them in style.

Centuries at the North Pole have rendered Santa completely insensible to the color white.  A costume change (into my White Elf Suit) and his snowblindness are all I need to make my final move.  Santa won’t be checking any lists this year.  This reign of terror ends now!

ohai, what’s your favorite color?

Whew, action-packed!  Let’s take a break from our story to look at some of the saucy outfits available for the elfin ladies this holiday season:

Red Alert!  You’ve got free range here – let loose and dress to impress in our fun and flirty Red Sexy Elf Suit.  The more you sparkle, the better!  Pair with sharpened candy canes and a tiny red-nosed agent of vengeance and you’ve got the look that all the humans will be dying for this season!

Stay cool with our  ice-White Sexy Elf Suit this winter in white-hot hat and stockings!  Why should your face be the only part of you touched by the pallor of the grave?  This season, consider white, the ultimate neutral – chic, cool, classy and clean!

Why let Christmas trees have all the fun?  If you’ve got it, flaunt it in style with our shimmery Green Sexy Elf Suit.  You don’t always have to push the envelope to stand out, but you’ll be simply irresistible in this subtle tone.

Black is back, but was it really ever gone?  Grunge, punk, emo, vamps from every camp can find something to sink their teeth into with this Black Sexy Elf Suit.  Some may say it’s boring, but remember, the most important audience you have is YOU.

Breathes a life of gathering gloom

That’s all for this installment of our Holiday Shopping Guide, but check out those playful (and weirdly sexy) reindeer!  Remember:  you can find all this gear from one of the merchants at the central fountain in Downtown New Valencia, near the frozen pond in Westview, or in the park in Cascade Terrace!  Just look for the icons and have fun:

–Matt, ohai online community manager